Deborah Petlueng, an Australian based Strategic Psychotherapist and Clinical Hypnotherapist, has made a significant impact in the field of psychotherapy by working with women who face confusion, heartbreak, and self-doubt in their relationships. In her new book, Loves Me, Loves Me Not: An Empowering and Eye-Opening Guide and Workbook for Modern Dating , Deborah provides a thoughtful, practical approach to dating and relationships that combines therapeutic insights with real-life case studies and tools for reflection and growth.
The book was born out of Deborah’s experience as a psychotherapist, where she has seen many women in toxic relationships, unsure of how to define their needs or set healthy boundaries. She has often witnessed women of any age accepting poor treatment because they have been conditioned to doubt their worth or feel undeserving of better. This inspired her to write a guide that would empower women to recognize early warning signs in relationships, make informed decisions, and trust their own instincts.
Loves Me, Loves Me Not goes beyond traditional relationship advice. It serves as a workbook designed to actively engage readers in the process of self-discovery and personal empowerment. The book features case studies that highlight common relationship dynamics, reflective journal prompts to help women gain clarity about their feelings, and a self-assessment tool to evaluate their relationships. Whether navigating a new romance or reassessing a long-term partnership, this book provides the clarity many women have been searching for.
The core message of the book is straightforward: Love should never feel like a guessing game. Women deserve relationships that are healthy, supportive, and respectful, and Deborah’s workbook offers the tools necessary to recognize when a relationship is no longer serving one’s best interests.
The Author’s Motivation
Ms Petlueng wrote Loves Me, Loves Me Not after years of working with women who felt confused, heartbroken, and unsure of their place in their relationships. “I wrote this book because I see too many smart, capable women being treated poorly and accepting it,” Deborah explained. “They question themselves and their worth, thinking they must be asking too much or settling for too little. It’s heartbreaking to see such talented and deserving women feeling stuck.”
She is also motivated by a larger societal issue: the need to support women in identifying and addressing unhealthy relationship dynamics early on. “By helping women recognize signs of unhealthy behavior, I hope to empower them to make decisions that protect their well-being and safety” she said. “This book is about offering women the tools to step back, reflect, and make choices that support their happiness and growth. In some small way I hope that this little book makes a difference to the issue of violence against women”, Deborah added.
The Workbook Approach: Tools for Real-Life Clarity
Unlike other relationship books that offer general advice, Loves Me, Loves Me Not stands out by providing actionable tools that readers can apply immediately. One of the book’s key features is its self-assessment tool, which allows readers to evaluate their current relationship quickly. By identifying both “green flags” (positive indicators of a healthy relationship) and “red flags” (warning signs of unhealthy dynamics), women can gain clarity about where their relationships stand and make more informed decisions.
“We’ve all been there—unsure of where we stand, wondering if we’re asking too much or too little,” she said. “This book empowers women to trust their own judgment, giving them clear markers to assess whether their relationship is truly supportive and healthy, or if it’s time to move on.”
This focus on empowering women through reflective exercises makes Loves Me, Loves Me Not more than just a dating guide. It’s a tool for self-awareness, encouraging women to trust their instincts and understand that they deserve love that is both fulfilling and respectful.
A Personal and Professional Mission
For Ms Petlueng, writing Loves Me, Loves Me Not was deeply personal. As a psychotherapist, she has witnessed firsthand the emotional toll that unhealthy relationships can take on women. “I’ve worked with many women who’ve suffered in silence, believing they have to endure unhealthy dynamics in their relationships. These women are smart, capable, and deserve better, but they often don’t know how to ask for it,” she shared.
Her decision to write this book is a natural extension of her passion for empowering women. She believes that when women know their worth and can identify when they’re not getting it, they can change the trajectory of their emotional well-being. “I wrote this book because I believe that women deserve relationships that support and nurture them,” Deborah said.
With Loves Me, Loves Me Not, Ms Petlueng aims to offer more than just relationship advice. Her work provides a therapeutic perspective grounded in her extensive background in psychotherapy and clinical hypnotherapy. The case studies, self-assessment tools, and journaling exercises are all designed to help women reflect on their experiences and gain clarity about what they want in a relationship.
A Vision for Change
Ms Petlueng also hopes that Loves Me, Loves Me Not will be a catalyst for change in how women approach relationships. It’s not just a guide to navigating the complexities of modern love; it’s about learning to trust oneself, setting healthy boundaries, and understanding that every woman deserves to be treated with respect.
The book is inclusive of and applies to both heterosexual and same-sex relationships, making it a valuable resource for women in all types of partnerships. Whether readers are entering a new relationship, reconsidering an existing one, or simply seeking clarity, the tools in Loves Me, Loves Me Not offer practical guidance that can be applied to any situation.
As Ms Petlueng concluded, “I hope this book gives women the tools to feel empowered in their relationships, to trust themselves, and to make choices that support their happiness and well-being. They deserve relationships that are healthy, loving, and safe.”
“I see this book as useful for women of any age” , says Deborah. When starting out, as a gift for daughters and nieces, or for oneself if you are back in the dating game at a more mature age.
For more information on Loves Me, Loves Me Not or to purchase the book, visit : books.by/empowered-lives
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