The Nature of Love and Memory
We often refer to “dying love,” which describes affection that fails to endure over time. This phrase, however, does not account for the mental and emotional shifts that occur once love has initially taken root.
On another level, the love we experience is eternal. Although it may only exist within specific times and circumstances, its fleeting nature gives it a unique form of “empirical” immortality.
Personal and Public Experiences
We can view our most intimate “dictionary” of experiences as both personal and communal. This lexicon, filled with our lived experiences, unveils subjectively eternal truths about our lives.
Romantic love, in particular, is characterized by its ebb and flow. Powerful emotions are bound to rise and fall over time, indicating that the process of love is cyclical—darkness follows light, and light follows darkness.
The Presence of Lost Love
Even in contemplating “lost love,” a thorough reimagination allows us to discover that remnants of it still exist within us, alive and vibrant. Our memories continue to resonate, regardless of whether they have been integrated into our current lives.
Subjective Significance of Love
Whether or not a form of love lasts indefinitely, its duration does not dictate its personal significance or lasting impact. This remains a steadfast truth in our lives, reflecting back our perceptions and experiences.
The Complexity of Intimate Connections
Love encompasses both joy and pain, and emotional dependence on others inherently brings with it some level of suffering. Intimate relationships shape and alter our personalities, suggesting that we possess multiple identities rather than a single one, making our personalities as dynamic and varied as a kaleidoscope.
The Role of Memories in Identity
The value of our relationships lies in their transient nature, reminiscent of Shakespeare’s 73rd Sonnet. Our identity is largely shaped by our memories of how individuals have influenced us. It is through these connections that we derive personal meaning and vitality in our human experience.
©2025 Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. Unauthorized reproduction is prohibited.
