Managing Emotional Spillovers in the Workplace: Insights from the Nervous System
We’ve all experienced moments of emotional overflow during meetings or discussions, leading us to wonder, “What just happened?” These instances, where emotions spill over unexpectedly, can be more than just a source of stress; they signal the complex interplay of our nervous system at work, often in response to environmental pressures and changes.
Understanding Your Nervous System
In today’s fast-paced and ever-evolving work environment, it’s common for our nervous system to be in a constant state of alertness as it tries to protect us from perceived threats. Even in a well-managed team, individuals can find it challenging to regulate their emotional reactions. The good news is that by learning how the nervous system functions, we can adopt effective, evidence-based techniques to better manage these emotional responses.
Psychosocial Safety: The Internal Landscape
Psychosocial safety encompasses both our external workplace environment and our internal emotional state. Our nervous system cycles through two primary circuits:
- Connection Circuit: A state where we feel calm, open, and curious.
- Protective Circuit: A reaction to perceived threats, causing us to feel defensive or withdrawn.
Our responses are often automatic and can escalate with minor stressors such as conflicts or unclear expectations, moving into protective modes that hinder effective collaboration.
The Three Zones of Emotional Response
Psychologists Anne Kelly and Sue Marriott have conceptualized the states of our nervous system as three distinct zones, each with differing emotional responses. Understanding these can help us manage our reactions constructively.
1. Blue Zone: Withdrawal
In the Blue Zone, emotional distance takes over as we instinctively withdraw from interactions. You may encounter colleagues who respond with “I’m fine,” when the reality suggests otherwise, or who disengage from discussions. This reaction stems from a protective instinct that can foster isolation.
To navigate out of this zone, consider the following strategies:
- Building a Bridge: Engage someone for help on a task to reconnect with the team. Use specific requests like, “Can you help me review this section?”
- Acknowledge Your Feelings: Instead of dismissing your emotions, ask yourself, “What am I truly feeling?” This recognition can help transition towards a more positive state.
- Repair Relationships: If your withdrawal has harmed connections, offer a thoughtful apology focused on your actions, such as, “I regret how I handled that at yesterday’s meeting. Can we discuss it again?”
2. Red Zone: Emergency Responses
The Red Zone is characterized by heightened urgency and defensive behaviors. Individuals may feel compelled to justify their actions, engage in lengthy disputes, or excessively seek immediate solutions, often damaging relationships in the process.
To redirect from this state, try these interventions:
- Calm Yourself Physically: Place a hand on your wrist and take seven deep breaths to reduce cortisol and promote feelings of calm.
- Use a Butterfly Hug: Cross your arms and gently tap your fingers against your chest while breathing deeply, helping to ground yourself.
- Challenge Your Thoughts: Evaluate whether the urgency of the situation is warranted. Creating mental barriers against destructive thoughts can restore clarity.
3. Green Zone: Connection and Growth
In the Green Zone, individuals display openness, support, and vitality when facing challenges. This state fosters psychological safety and allows for personal and professional growth.
Enhancing your time in this zone can be supported by:
- Regular Self-Check: Periodically assess your physical and mental state to catch early signs of distress.
- Set an Intent: Choose a word to embody at work (like “supportive” or “proactive”) and use it as an anchor during tense moments.
- Follow the Oxytocin Protocol: Reach for calm by placing a hand on your wrist and breathing deeply to lower stress and enhance feelings of well-being.
Conclusion: Embracing Biological Collaboration
Through intentional practice, we can learn to work harmoniously with our biological responses rather than be hindered by them. Consider how your team’s openness in discussing and navigating through the complexities of the nervous system can transform workplace dynamics and enhance collaboration.