Recently, a colleague I’ve known for over a year—let’s call her “Liz”—entered the therapy room appearing utterly defeated. Before I could ask her anything, Liz burst into tears. Together, we delved into that overwhelming emotion. I was curious as to why a relationship that ended two decades ago was resurfacing for her now. It turned out that while waiting in the lobby before her session, Liz came across an Instagram clip claiming that highly sensitive people (HSPs) are always victims of trauma. This triggered Liz’s misinterpretation, suggesting that the pain of her past relationship was the source of her heightened sensitivity.
This misconception isn’t new to me, and it frustrates me. As a highly sensitive person and therapist, I have strong feelings about the conflation of sensitivity with trauma. Let’s clarify: high sensitivity is not a byproduct of traumatic experiences.
The widespread myth linking trauma to sensitivity is troubling for three main reasons:
- It’s incorrect. Research indicates that high sensitivity, including aspects like sensory processing sensitivity (SPS), is an inherent trait individuals are born with.
- This faulty narrative can trap individuals in a cycle of revisiting painful memories, which can exacerbate suffering instead of helping them live in the present.
- If HSPs perceive their sensitivity solely as a trauma response, they risk overlooking the many positive aspects of their heightened abilities.
Understanding Sensitivity
Highly sensitive people possess unique neural wiring. According to Elaine Aron and her colleagues (2012), roughly 10% to 35% of individuals fall into the highly sensitive category, depending on the sample. Moreover, research suggests that over 100 animal species also exhibit heightened awareness and responsiveness to their environments.
HSPs and Chronic Misunderstanding
Many HSPs grow up in environments where caregivers frequently misinterpret their natural sensitivity. This unfortunate cycle is often termed chronic misunderstanding. Statistically, it’s evident why misunderstandings are prevalent, with around 65% to 90% of parents and teachers not sharing the same sensitivity as HSPs.
In response to their genuine feelings and reactions, sensitive children often hear dismissive comments from adults, such as “it’s not a big deal” or “stop being so dramatic.” When sensitive children continuously face these invalidations, they may internalize a belief that something is wrong with them, leading to poor self-esteem and increased anxiety and depression.
Trauma and Sensitivity
It’s understandable to confuse the relationship between sensitivity and trauma. While HSPs aren’t sensitive due to trauma, challenging experiences can be magnified by heightened sensitivity.
The theory of differential susceptibility sheds light on the connection between sensitivity and trauma, suggesting that individuals vary in how they respond to environmental influences. HSPs often react more intensely to stimuli and are adversely impacted by criticism and chaotic situations, making them more vulnerable to traumatic experiences.
Moving Forward
For HSPs who have endured trauma, it’s essential to acknowledge that both realities coexist: your sensitivity is innate, and your difficult experiences shape how you relate to that sensitivity. Collaborating with therapists who understand HSPs can assist in untangling these interconnected truths and developing coping strategies that respect both your inherent traits and lived experiences.
To locate a therapist, consult The Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
