“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” — Viktor Frankl
Are you stuck ruminating on the past or worrying about the future? Imagine if you strengthened your mindfulness muscles and were able to gently bring your attention back to the present moment. Want to start the construction phase?
According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of mindfulness-based stress reduction, “Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention, intentionally and non-judgmentally, to the present moment for self-understanding and wisdom.” Mindfulness is the practice of remaining present with compassion and curiosity, starting with a neutral experience like breathing and ultimately expressing life’s most difficult emotions. Build your practice so that you can respond with grace and courage.
intentionally pay attention to the present
The practice of mindfulness helps us to be fully involved in life and aware of each moment as it happens. It involves developing psychological flexibility, the ability to shift focus, whether inward, outward, broad, or specific. For example, when you feel overwhelmed, you might use your five senses to pay attention to your surroundings. If you’re at the start line of a race you’ve been training for, and you’re managing the nerves of a nervous crowd, you might focus on your inner vision of how you want to run the race. You can hone your attention like a laser beam, focusing on the sensation of air flowing in and out of your nose, or you can expand your awareness like a lantern, illuminating all your internal and external experiences and allowing them to pass through you. Your perception without judgement.
power not to judge
Think about the last time you said to yourself, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” or asked yourself, “Why can’t I be happier?” Or, like a frightened dog cowering in the corner of our limbic system, do our emotions only get amplified when we respond to criticism and criticism? Curiosity and kindness towards each element of emotion, including thoughts, sensations, and impulses to act.
As a service of self-understanding and wisdom
Mindfulness is not an end in itself, but a means to an end. It’s about growing in wisdom and experiencing that space Frankl calls. Formal meditation is one way to practice mindfulness. You can practice mindfulness at any time. The purpose of practicing mindfulness is to develop the ability to respond flexibly to different aspects of the present moment, allowing you to respond in a way that most honors your values.
start small and build
For beginners, think of mindfulness like lifting a 5-pound weight. Start noticing your emotions with compassion and curiosity when you are in a neutral mood. This is a warm-up and prepares you for the heavier lifting to come.
Exercise: Sit quietly and focus on your breathing. Notice how air moves in and out of your nostrils and how your chest rises and falls. If your attention wanders, gently bring it back. This is your foundation and the beginning of your journey with your compassionate, curious self.
level up
As you get used to it, move on to the 10-pound weight and bring the same compassionate awareness to the emotions you trigger. This is the training ground where you start to burn.
Exercise: Choose a song that evokes strong emotions. As you listen, observe your thoughts, body sensations, and behavioral impulses without changing anything.
master mindfulness
As our practice develops, we become able to remain aware in real time of the increasingly dire emotional situations we find ourselves in. This is tough. It was not achieved overnight, but is the result of consistent practice in moments of ease. Just as every surfer has encountered a wave that they don’t yet have the skills to surf, we’ve all encountered situations where we feel overwhelmed and unable to stay present. still. As we develop our practice, we experience more options and find ourselves reacting rather than reacting in more and more situations.
Practice: Sit with a difficult question or emotion you want to avoid and practice RAIN (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) meditation.
How do you get reps?
