Set a Goal You Cannot Fail
(For mamas who feel stuck)
Shifting Focus to Action-Oriented Goals
The key takeaway here is to shift your focus from outcome-based goals, which rely on results outside your control, to action-oriented goals that you can actively achieve. This change empowers you, helping you feel accomplished rather than defeated.
Why is this distinction so important?
Outcome-based goals, such as losing five inches from your waist, often set us up for disappointment when progress feels slow. This discouragement can lead to giving up before seeing the results you’re capable of achieving.
On the other hand, action-oriented goals, like committing to 15 minutes of core exercises four days a week, allow you to focus on what you can do. You’re no longer dependent on outcomes but empowered by the process itself.
The Truth About Goal-Setting
Many of us feel like we’re failing because we’ve been aiming for the wrong kind of goals. It’s time to change that.
A Personal Story
After the birth of my first baby, I experienced increasing pelvic floor pain. Initially dismissed by a nurse as normal postpartum pain, I trusted my intuition and confided in a nurse friend. After a thorough check, a grapefruit-sized hematoma was discovered in my pelvic floor, and I was rushed into surgery.
The bleeding was severe, and I woke up to medical professionals working to stabilize me. That experience left me with lasting pelvic floor trauma, requiring consistent therapy to maintain basic function.
To this day, I sometimes experience leaks—a fact I struggled to accept, especially as someone who helps thousands of moms improve their pelvic floor health. My original goal to fully restore my pelvic floor and achieve a perfectly flat stomach made me feel like an imposter whenever I fell short.
The Lesson Learned
Focusing solely on outcome-based goals can leave you feeling like a failure, even when you’re making meaningful progress.
Reframing Goals
Instead of feeling discouraged, I reframed my goals to focus on actions I could control. For example, rather than setting a goal to “never leak again,” I committed to specific therapy exercises. By emphasizing the process, I began to see consistent progress without the weight of failure.
Why This Matters
When striving for fitness or other milestones, outcome goals, like losing inches from your waist, can lead to discouragement. Process goals—like committing to specific exercises or habits—empower you to focus on the steps, not just the destination.
3 Steps to Set Fail-Proof Goals
- Choose an Outcome Goal: Identify a specific result you’d like to achieve. For example, you may want to fit into jeans three sizes smaller.
- Create a Process Goal: Develop an actionable habit that supports your outcome goal. For instance, commit to 15 minutes of core exercises four times a week or starting every meal with a plate of salad. While you can’t control how fast you reach the outcome, you can control your effort toward process goals.
- Assess and Adjust Weekly: Check in with your process goals to ensure they’re working for you. If something isn’t serving you, adjust it. For example, if a 15-minute workout is hard to fit in during the morning, try a different time or shorten it to 10 minutes. If it works, stick with it until it becomes a routine. Then, consider adding a new process goal.
Why This Works
Process goals focus on actions you can control. These actions become stepping stones toward outcome goals. If process goals aren’t working, it’s not a failure—it’s an opportunity to learn and adjust. This ensures your goals serve you, rather than striving to meet unattainable standards.
Practical Application
You deserve the time it takes to set and refine your goals. Empower yourself by focusing on actions you can control. Adjust as needed, and give yourself grace along the way.
With care,
Raginée Mora
(Mommy Mango)