Political conversations about holiday meals can be respectful and productive.
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This holiday season, nearly half of respondents in a recent survey said they plan to skip family gatherings entirely. reason? A strong desire to avoid political discussion.
In a time when emotions are running high and political debate dominates every corner of our lives, it’s no wonder that many people are hesitant to attend potentially tense gatherings. Psychotherapist Robi Ludwig even calls politics a “new religion” for its ability to polarize conversations.
But some celebrities are fully committed to the idea of distancing themselves from those who disagree with their views. For example, Dr. Amanda Calhoun, a psychiatrist at Yale University, told MSNBC that it was OK to cut ties with family members who voted differently, while actress Christina Applegate said that encouraged his followers to unfollow him if they disagreed with his political positions.
But is walking away the best answer? Experts say no, and suggest more nuanced approaches like enlightened disagreement, a communication strategy that emphasizes curiosity, respect, and meaningful dialogue even when we fundamentally disagree. .
What is enlightened disagreement?
Think of intelligent disagreement as an antidote to the all-or-nothing mentality that dominates much of today’s political conversation. Wise disagreement means creating space for diverse perspectives and engaging in respectful and meaningful conversations, rather than avoiding difficult topics altogether.
“Healthy groups, organizations, and societies require disagreement,” shared Noor Keitaly in a press release announcing the launch of the Center for Enlightened Dissent, which she co-chairs. “But too often, we get so caught up in caricaturing or marginalizing those who disagree with us that we miss the opportunity to learn from and benefit from different perspectives. ”
This is not about hiding conflicts or pretending that differences don’t exist. “Engaging in intelligent disagreement does not mean avoiding difficult conversations,” brain and behavior expert Dr. Jay Kumar shared in an email. “It’s about approaching them with curiosity and mutual respect.”
Tips for navigating difficult political conversations
If you’re heading into a holiday gathering prepared for a confrontation, here are some expert tips to keep things constructive.
Avoid the “If you’re not with me, you’re against me” mindset
While this idea may feel justified in the moment, it leaves little room for progress. Social psychologist Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh warns in a newsletter that this dualistic thinking can “erode the foundations of all relationships.” Instead, remember that personal choices are often shaped by personal experiences. You don’t have to agree, but recognizing where the other person is coming from can open the door to understanding.
humanize the other person
“Political views often feel black and white and can be dismissive of the other person’s point of view,” Dr. Nasserzadeh said in a recent interview. She advises focusing on the broader relationship. “You don’t have to agree or even maintain the same intimacy. But you don’t have to reduce them to political beliefs,” she explains.
control emotions
Conversations can quickly become heated, especially when it comes to politics. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or agitated, Dr. Nasserzadeh suggests techniques such as taking deep breaths or taking a short break. The goal is to respond thoughtfully rather than react emotionally.
focus on shared values
Even in the most divided families, there are usually common threads to build upon. “The heightened political tensions we are experiencing today are deeply rooted in our brain’s survival instincts, which naturally gravitate toward an ‘us versus them’ mindset,” Dr. Kumar explains. Masu. Focusing on shared traditions, memories, and values allows us to focus our attention on what unites us rather than divides us.
redirect the conversation
In some cases, it may be best to steer the conversation away from politics entirely. Ludwig recommends having simple and elegant redirects in place. For example: “I think we’ve had enough about politics, but is there anything new?” Making a shift at the right time can save everyone from unnecessary tension.
know when to leave
Despite our best efforts, some conversations just aren’t worth continuing. If things get heated or unproductive, politely excuse yourself. It’s often better to end a conversation calmly and politely than to continue a conversation that goes nowhere.
In cultures where we sometimes celebrate cutting ties with people we disagree with, it’s worth remembering that disagreements don’t have to end relationships. This season, focus on connection over conflict and don’t let politics ruin your holidays.
