Modern social media arbiters seem to despise no other act more lightly than ghosting. A quick look around the internet shows that not responding to someone else’s connection attempts is said to be hurtful, callous, indifferent, and even evil. However, ghosting is very common. This leads to a dilemma. If ghosting is so heinous, how is it possible that people ghost on a daily basis?Are most people evil?
What’s more, you’ve probably ghosted someone in the past, either in some professional or personal situation. are you evil?
Why do people become ghosts?
There is great interest in uncovering the deep motivations behind ghosting. Indeed, ghosting actually happens because people want to cut off communication with other people and mistakenly believe that having a conversation about it is worse than just ignoring it (which is usually not the case). ). Perhaps a few people become ghosts because they really hate humans.
However, in most cases the reality is much more mundane than these dramatic features. Consider the following innocuous sequence of events:
Your inbox will be filled with emails from potential collaborators, friendly check-ins, follow-ups, and more. The to-do list is forever long. What email did you mean to reply to? It gets pushed to “later.” Days, weeks, and even months pass. It’s been so long that I’m starting to feel lazy to reply.
If this process sounds familiar, you’re probably not alone. Many people ghost simply as a byproduct of being busy or overwhelmed. It’s not that people who ghost others don’t care about others. They don’t have time to juggle everything.
why do people think it’s a ghost
However, this is not what your ghosting looks like to others. While you go through the trouble of trying and failing over and over again to accomplish everything on your to-do list, others won’t give you any leeway.
Both research and common sense suggest that your ghosting, without an inside perspective on your life, will be seen by others as rude and inconsiderate. This reasoning is important because it can cost you opportunities, damage your reputation, and drive away people who really want to connect with you. It may be unfair, but it’s still costly to make others see you this way.
Practical and impractical solutions
One possible solution to this problem might be to declare to yourself and the world that things will be different from now on. While others may have trouble completing their to-do list, you are more efficient and effective than them. You are really ruthless with your time and bravely make the most of every moment, including all your replies to others and crossing out every item on your to-do. Masu.
While this is an exciting goal, it is probably unrealistic.
A more realistic solution is: We can delegate things to others that we cannot fully accomplish on our own.
There are two main options for doing this. A high-end option is to hire an executive or personal assistant. Just imagine. Instead of stressing over missed messages, your trusted assistant will handle your communications. They make sure the conversation doesn’t leak out. They can work on:
Prioritize your emails: With common guidance, your Assistant can sort your inbox, flag what’s important, and draft thoughtful responses. Maintain low-touch or dormant relationships: Your assistant can create a list of important dates, such as birthdays, anniversaries, or just markers of how long it’s been since you’ve been in contact with personal and professional contacts. Masu. Networking follow-up: As a regular practice or after an event or conference, your assistant can handle thank you messages, follow-ups, and organizing meetings.
If done properly, delegating in this way can make you look superhuman. People will point out that you’re the one who always remembers birthdays, follows up on past conversations, and contacts you about business opportunities that happened to be mentioned during impromptu conversations.
Admittedly, this is a high-end solution and not a cheap one. However, missed business opportunities can also come at a cost. The question is whether what is left on the table by unintentional ghosting is greater than the cost of the executive assistant.
Necessities for relationships
If this does not meet your cost-benefit trade-off, there are lower-end options. Here, we will build a system of AI and automation solutions that will take on many of the functions of a human assistant.
There are tools to help you prioritize important emails, suggest replies, and learn how to write them. Fortunately, there are many apps on the market today, but some of the most promising include Super-Human for email, HubSpot for contact management, Calendly for calendar management, and under certain conditions via LinkedIn. These include Zapier, which automates processes like sending messages. We met. And of course, tools like ChatGPT allow you to compose your messages in the style you prefer.
This low-end option requires unique research and configuration on your part, but once in place, its effectiveness can rival that of a human assistant at a fraction of the cost.
final thoughts
Ghosting is often not as bad as social media suggests, but it can still damage your personal relationships and professional reputation. It may be helpful to change the way you think about ghosting. What about next?
In some ways, we are lucky that we are inundated with social and professional requests. People want to interact with us.
When you think about it this way, ghosting becomes a matter of creating a process that allows you to accomplish more without pushing yourself too hard. Delegation may be the answer. Give it a try. Your reputation and relationships may thank you.
