From fear to success: Why courageous goal setting is important

How many times have you set a goal because it felt right or necessary to focus on it, when really your soul wanted something different? Or you were too scared to pursue it? What about those ambitious goals you didn’t achieve? Those you know are achievable, but you put them off in favor of safer goals that don’t feel as satisfying as you’d like? How would you feel if you stopped starting small and took your goal setting to the next level?

MAPP’s Caroline Adams Miller is the best-selling author of Big Goals, Creating Your Best Life, and The Power to Persist. “A big goal is something that is meaningful to you and that you are passionate about pursuing because it represents a positive future that you are trying to achieve,” she explains.

She added that pursuing big goals helps you grow and live a fulfilling life. “Thousands of studies have shown that a rich life is characterized by an effort to step outside of your comfort zone to gain ‘skilled’ experiences that lead to your dreams.” We know that pursuing challenging and specific goals always yields the best results, and doing so builds true self-esteem and confidence. Furthermore, recent research has shown that being emotionally rich is a prerequisite for achieving goals in all areas of life. That’s because these emotions create mindsets and behaviors like optimism, enthusiasm, and happiness that make you more likely to succeed. Anything. “

Why do we focus so much on what we fear?

You’re the only one who’s letting fear keep you from setting big goals. Women’s leadership coach, speaker, and author of The Courage Gap: 5 Steps to Brave Action says we need to take an honest look at where our fears come from. Masu. “Fear is hardwired into us humans, a survival mechanism designed to keep us safe. But our brains are not as evolved as the world we live in. Therefore, our fears often work against us, increasing our anxiety, making us live “overly” safe, overestimating danger and underestimating our ability to cope with it. But fear is not the enemy. What matters is how you deal with fear. ”

She encourages us to shift our mindset to see fear as “an ally and catalyst to move forward more courageously in our careers and lives.” When we understand that fear is not a stop sign, but a signal, we can direct our energy toward the possibilities that lie beyond fear. ”

Miller also points out that the COVID-19 pandemic has changed the way we approach setting and achieving goals, whether we realize the change or not. “Similar to the post-pandemic era of the bubonic plague in the Middle Ages, when social upheaval and extreme loss of life changed the way people lived and worked, our world was moving toward a similar ‘renaissance.’ We are in the process of doing so. Due to the inevitability of population decline, technological advances, and innovative breakthroughs, we must now learn new ways to succeed. Few professions operate the same way they did five years ago. Therefore, it is necessary to adopt a learning goal mindset of curiosity, patience, and humility toward achieving your goals. ”

Setting courageous goals

Not sure if you’re ready to set big goals? Rachel Hollis, author of What If YOU Are the Answer? It feels a little old. I can’t help but wonder…what else can I do?”

Dr. Worrell recommends not limiting yourself to what you think you should want. “Give yourself permission to dream…dream really big. As women, we sell ourselves by focusing on what we think we ‘should’ do, rather than what we really want to do.” It often happens.”

“There are all kinds of philosophies about goal setting, but to me, great goals always include three elements,” says Hollis. “Firstly, your goals need to be relevant to you. It’s difficult to work on yourself, but if you actually really want them, you’re much more likely to achieve them.” Second, your goals need to be realistically achievable; if they’re too unrealistic, you’ll get discouraged and quit; if they’re too easy, you won’t want to try. Therefore, you won’t feel any pride in actually achieving it. Choose the one you are 80% confident in. The 20% deficit is what excites you and pushes you to see what is possible. I am a strong believer that you can achieve almost anything in life, but it helps to aim for goals that can be broken down into smaller parts and achieved in small increments.

Dr. Worrell recommends asking yourself powerful questions like, “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” “What will your wildest, most exciting life look like 10 years from now?”

Now think about those questions. “Write down your thoughts in as much detail as possible,” she suggests. “If you feel a little nervous when you put pen to paper, take it as a sign that you’re on the right path. As I wrote in The Courage Gap, our potential is truly great. , dreams can be very daring. The very act of writing something down makes clear the direction and first steps to take. You don’t have to see them all, just the next thing that’s just ahead. I need it.”

And it’s perfectly normal to feel like throwing up just thinking about working toward that big goal, says Dr. Worrell. “Big goals can feel overwhelming because they focus on the whole process and the gap between where you are and where you want to be, rather than the first step in front of you. To change your mindset, focus on progress rather than perfection, and embrace the discomfort as a signal to move forward. , imagine how you will feel when you reach the next milestone.”

deal with fear of failure

When you run into fear of failure, Hollis says, ask yourself these questions: Are you afraid of failing at your goals, or are you afraid of “them” watching you fail?

“We usually think we don’t have the courage, but in reality we don’t have the confidence to face other people’s opinions. When asked, 99% of people actually don’t care what others think of them. “I think when you look at it that way, you realize how much power you’re giving to other people.” She’s afraid of what certain people think. I encourage them to think about how they would feel if they were 90 years old and had not pursued their dreams. “If you’re 90 years old and don’t want Pam to keep you from fulfilling your destiny, why are you letting her opinions hold you back today?”

If you find it difficult to set goals because you’re afraid of obstacles, change the way you look at them. Dealing with setbacks mindfully will help you keep moving forward when something doesn’t go as planned. “Any meaningful journey is bound to have setbacks,” says Dr. Worrell. First, acknowledge the emotions you’re feeling, such as disappointment, frustration, or fear. Give yourself the grace to feel them without judgement, and at the same time learn the lessons the experience brings you. Then refocus on what you can control and the next best action. Ask yourself, “What is the best next step I can take?” Learning how to fail well is critical to closing the gap between where you are and where you want to be. So, reset your relationship to failure and reframe each failure as an opportunity to grow into a braver version of yourself. ”