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Each of us has our own idea of what it means to live a good life. These thoughts are influenced by our personality, values, culture, education, and life experiences.
This means that each of us as parents has our own goals for our children. That means we, too, need to find our own parenting approaches that take those goals into account.
Possible goals for your child
By consciously thinking about long-term goals for your children and using those goals to guide your priorities in daily life, you can become the parent you want to be. This is true from your child’s birth to adulthood.
Here are some common goals that parents have for their children.
You want your child to be happy. Your responsibility is to give your child what he needs to be happy on his own, but you also need to take it away from him. Do everything you can to find your own happiness and don’t try to shift responsibility for your child’s own happiness. You want your child to be kind and empathetic. Some people are genetically more empathetic than others, but everyone can learn to act with kindness and empathy. Talk to your child about your feelings and help them tune into their feelings. Help children regulate their own emotions and behavior in ways that take into account the emotions of others. You want your child to be optimistic. When you encourage an attitude of gratitude, your child will not only be more positive and optimistic, but also more energetic, enthusiastic, empathetic, resilient, and caring. You want your child to be honest. Help your child understand how honesty and integrity are better choices than lying, cheating, or stealing. If your child has acted dishonestly, focus on your connection with the child, not on lying, cheating, or stealing. Help your child learn that trust, tolerance, and respect are much better than throwing things away or getting new ones. You want your child to have a sense of responsibility. Give your child as much age-appropriate responsibility as possible as early as possible. Housework is a great way to do that. Housework not only teaches your child a sense of responsibility, but it also builds competence, confidence, resilience, pride, and family connections. You want your child to be resilient. It’s clear how some of the goals discussed here (such as positivity and responsibility) support your child’s resilience. But you may not realize it, but fanciful, unplanned play, outdoor discovery, and creative exploration can also help you with your goal of raising resilient children. You want your child to be healthy, strong, and healthy. Aiming for good health means making sure your child gets good nutrition, enough sleep, and experiences plenty of exercise and outdoor play. It also means eating well and sleeping well, as well as exercising and spending time outdoors. You want your child to be smart. A curious, well-developed, and well-disciplined mind is advantageous in most activities, from school to work to relationships. Raising smart children is easier and more basic than many parents think. It’s not about buying expensive toys, providing challenging learning activities from an early age, or sending your child to an expensive school. Quite the opposite. The key is to slow down so you can be kind to yourself and be lovingly present. You want your child to be creative. Children who learn to be creative have a stronger sense of well-being, less anxiety, are more resilient and have stronger immune systems. Your child’s creativity begins when they find something that interests them. So pay attention to your child’s curiosity and enthusiasm and help them develop those interests into abilities. You want your child to feel confident. Your child’s confidence is built on their experience of competence in the areas they value and the areas they find difficult. Encourage your child to embrace challenges as learning opportunities rather than as insurmountable obstacles. Think positively about your child’s strengths, especially their tenacity in the face of challenges and failures. However, resist the temptation to praise too easily or too often. We want our children to build good relationships with others. Living happily with others is a skill that will improve every aspect of your child’s future life. Model how to show respect to family, friends, neighbors, and strangers. Listen when your child describes problems with others, and ask for help if the problem persists. You want your child to be successful in his career. You’re doing everything you can toward all of your other goals and helping your child successfully tackle all the challenges life brings, including building a successful career.
The most important thing is to love your child for who he or she is. However, it is also important to remember that they are becoming adults and to be able to support them in creating the life they want. Think about your priorities and emphasize what’s most important each day.
