To promote public health, the federal government uses several ongoing national surveys with common elements to collect information about Americans’ sexuality. Some people don’t say the “M word” because they focus on sex with a partner and solo play, that is, self-sex, sex alone, and it’s a very emotional word.
It’s no surprise that the government is focused on partnered sex. Government officials are concerned about public health threats such as sexually transmitted diseases, teen pregnancy and sexual assault, all of which result from sex with a partner, not solo play.
Additionally, masturbation has long been controversial and still is. Some religions prohibit it. Their clergy call this a one-way ticket to hell. And even among those who think it’s normal, natural, and okay, very few people discuss it. When was the last time you revealed how often you had sex?
Sexologists, on the other hand, promote solo sex, which offers significant health, psychological, and sexual benefits, including:
Help people relax and fall asleep Introduce people to their own unique sexuality Give great pleasure for free Increase self-esteem and body positivity Intimacy between couples discussing and doing it in each other’s company Promotes sex that often improves your partner’s sex and helps treat two common sexual problems. Premature ejaculation and difficulty orgasming
Solo sex is ignored in government research, but academic researchers pursue the topic, but only occasionally. Researchers at Indiana University and the University of Minnesota recently conducted the first survey in 15 years about solo sex among Americans. Their study generally confirms previous reports, and while many Americans say they don’t have self-sex, or at least don’t, having sex alone is very popular and more popular than having sex with a partner. also indicates that many people indulge in sex frequently.
the study
Researchers extracted data from the 2021 National Sexual Wellbeing Survey. Their final sample included 3,878 Americans age 18 and older, a reasonably representative sample of the country’s population. Adults of all ages, races, ethnicities, education and income levels, sexual orientations (including asexuality), single people, relationships of all types, and frequency of sex with a partner.
During the year until the study was completed, they reported:
Never masturbate: women, 44%. Men, 24% Several times a year: Women, 25%. Men, 17% Once a month: Women, 10%. Male 6% Several times a month: Female 12%. Men, 16 percent Weekly: Women, 4 percent. Men, 9% 2-3 times a week: Women, 4%. Men 17 percent almost every day: women 0.5 percent. men, 10 percent
Men have significantly more self-sex than women. Only 8.5 percent of women do it at least weekly, compared to 36 percent of men, more than four times as many.
Can you believe these numbers?
A stand-up comedian once said: “90 percent of people admit to masturbating.” The remaining 10 percent are lying. Meanwhile, the survey found that many people said they would never do it, with almost half of women (44%) and a quarter of men (24%) saying so.
Should we believe them? It’s hard to say. Solo sex is stigmatized. Many people underestimate their participation in stigmatized activities such as smoking, drinking, cheating on their taxes, and having solo sex. Therefore, we should expect that people engage in self-sex more often than they admit. How much more? who knows? However, it is important to note that while this study represents the best information available to date, the numbers are likely an underestimate.
Why play with yourself?
The men in the study said they masturbate for a variety of reasons.
Pleasure (66 percent) Horny (54 percent) Sexual frustration, not having enough sex with your partner (49 percent) Stress relief (37 percent) Relaxation (27 percent) Falling asleep (21 percent) Persistent When my excitement interferes with other responsibilities (12 percent) Boredom (11 percent) Exploring my sexuality (8 percent) I can’t stop myself (7 percent) My partner wants me to (5 percent)
Masturbation essentials
Women’s reasons:
Pleasure (64 percent) Feeling horny (49 percent) Stress relief (36 percent) Sexual frustration, not having enough sex with your partner (34 percent) Relaxation (26 percent) Falling asleep (26 percent) Expressing your sexuality To explore (13 percent) Excitement interferes with other responsibilities (9 percent) Boredom (7 percent) My partner wants me to (4 percent) Can’t stop myself (2 percent)
Although most men have self-sex significantly more often than most women, the reasons for solo play between men and women are surprisingly similar. There are only three reasons why the difference between men and women is greater than 5%.
Sexual frustration, not having enough sex with their partner (15 percent increase in men) Wanting to explore their sexuality (6 percent increase in women) Unable to stop themselves (5 percent increase in men)
Why refrain?
Men said they refrain from doing so for the following reasons:
I’m not interested (49 percent) It goes against my religion/morals/values (23 percent) I’m in a committed relationship (20 percent) My partner disapproves (11 percent) It makes me feel bad afterwards ( 5 percent) Not enough privacy (4%) Feeling like you’re betraying your partner (4%) Bad for your health (4%) Feeling uncomfortable about your body (1%)
Women said they refrain from doing so for the following reasons:
I’m not interested (69 percent) It goes against my religion/morals/values (19 percent) I’m in a committed relationship (13 percent) I don’t have enough privacy (4 percent) I feel bad afterwards (4 percent ) I feel uncomfortable with my body (4%) I feel like I’m betraying my partner (3%) My partner is against me (2%) It’s unhealthy (1%)
Men and women’s reasons for not masturbating are surprisingly similar. There are only two reasons why there is a difference of more than 5% between the two.
I’m not interested (20% more women) My partner is against it (9% more men)
About one in five (20%) study participants said they refrained from doing so for religious, moral, or personal value reasons. Meanwhile, this reason doesn’t resonate with four in five Americans (80%).
Competitive, complementary, or compensatory?
Psychologists have developed three ideas about the interaction between solo sex and partnered sex.
Self-sex competes with partner sex. According to this theory, humans have a limited sexual desire, and having sex alone reduces the desire for play with a partner. Solo sex and partnered sex are complementary. The idea here is that sex between the individual and their partner feeds each other, and masturbation increases the partner’s desire for sex. Self-sex compensates for the lack of sex with a partner. When sex with a partner doesn’t go as planned, people try to take matters into their own hands.
This study does not support the competition model. Even though sex alone increased, sex with a partner did not decrease.
This report provides some support for the complementary hypothesis, but it is limited to women. The women who had the most self-sex also had the most sex with a partner. However, this was not the case for men.
This study provides the most support for the compensatory idea. Compared to people who feel satisfied with the frequency of sex they have with their partner, those who want a little more masturbate twice as much, and those who want sex with their partner more often masturbate 4 times more I was playing twice as many solos. So masturbation is clearly compensating for what people perceive as having too little sex with their partner.
Bottom line: No matter how often you have sex alone, you’re normal.
